WHAT IS VIRTUAL MOBILITY COACH?
The Ready State Virtual Mobility Coach is like having a virtual Kelly Starrett in your pocket.
Lynsey Dyer
Full Transcript
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Kelly: [0:00:04] Hey everyone, I’m Dr. Kelly Starrett.
Juliet: [0:00:06] And I’m Juliet Starrett.
Kelly: [0:00:08] And you’re listening to The Ready State Podcast.
[music]
Juliet: [0:00:17] This episode of The Ready State Podcast is brought to you by Sleep.me.
Kelly: [0:00:20] Most people don’t know, but you and I live in a shed.
Juliet: [0:00:22] It’s a really cold shed.
Kelly: [0:00:24] We live in an old mid-century modern house. It’s not that old, but it’s a mid-century modern house. And it was built in this California style.
Juliet: [0:00:29] It’s made of balsa wood.
Kelly: [0:00:30] It is. Everyone has a window to the deck, which is so beautiful.
Juliet: [0:00:34] Which is great in the summer, and in the winter, it’s real cold.
Kelly: [0:00:36] It’s cold. So our house has gotten cold. And one of the things that I have been doing of late is I have been jacking my Chillipad, send it commands via the app, and guess what it does? It wakes me up in the morning by getting warm. I’ve been waking up at 100 and I’m so warm my body feels good.
Juliet: [0:00:53] Wait, so you’re saying you go to sleep at 50 degrees and wake up at 100 degrees.
Kelly: [0:057] No, it’s too powerful for that. I am sleeping at 78 degrees. And then in the morning it starts to wake me up right when our cat starts shouting at us to wake up. And what people don’t realize is that you can really use this temperature to wake up; you don’t need an alarm. Your bed can be an alarm. And it’s so great; I feel so good. Instead of waking up like an ice cube in our house, I now wake up like a baby all cozied up.
Juliet: [0:01:20] Head over to Sleep.me/TRS to learn more and save off the purchase of any new Cube, OOLER, or Dock Pro sleep system. There is an offer available exclusively for Ready State Podcast listeners and only for a limited time. That’s sleep.me/TRS to take advantage of our exclusive discount and wake up like Kelly: refreshed every day.
Kelly: [0:01:40] Like a baby. On this episode of The Ready State Podcast, we are tickled to introduce you to the one and only Lynsey Dyer, professional athlete, skiing icon, illustrator, and as you’ll hear, new mother. Lynsey is incredible for lots and lots of reasons. She won the free ski overall extreme skiing tour seven straight times; was the first woman on the cover of Free Skier Magazine; and named Skier of the Year multiple times by Powder Magazine. You may have actually seen her on Chevy, Jeep, and GoPro commercials — no big deal. She also hosts the popular outdoor podcast Showing Up with Lynsey Dyer. At 21, she cofounded SheJumps.org to increase participation of women in the outdoors. And then this is also notable: She produced and directed the first all woman action sport ski film. Pretty incredible. Pretty Faces raised $100,000 on a Kickstarter and shifted the whole film industry. As an artist, you’ll see Lynsey’s photography in National Geographic Magazine, her artwork’s all over the place. She is a hardworking new mother. JStar, what did you think about this conversation with this incredible person?
Juliet: [0:02:42] Well, I just loved getting to know her a little more than we already did. And I think of course, not surprisingly, my favorite part is just learning a little more about how she’s navigating being a new mom both physically and mentally but also how she’s thinking about going back into being a professional skier and being a new mom and the inherent conflict that comes with that both internally and what she’s hearing from her community at large.
Kelly: [0:03:06] There is a little bit of a penchant on this podcast where we seem to interview women who are changing industries. Think about Rachel Balkovec was on here, we’ve got our big wave surfer Bianca-
Juliet: [0:03:22] Rebecca Rusch.
Kelly: [0:03:23] Rebecca Rusch. I can’t believe Lynsey is another woman who her career seems inevitable and yet when you talk to her, it’s not inevitable at all. She’s been knocking down walls and creating a path for women behind her that’s going to change the future of women in skiing sports.
Juliet: [0:03:38] We are just huge fans of Lynsey, just personally, and we’re really excited to share this conversation with all of you and think you’re going to enjoy it a lot.
Kelly: [0:03:45] Ladies and gentleman, Lynsey Dyer.
Juliet: [0:03:46] Hey Ready State listeners, if you like what you’re hearing, please subscribe and leave a review on iTunes to help others find our show. Lynsey, welcome, welcome to The Ready State Podcast. Thank you so much for being here.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:03:58] Yay. Juliet, I have so many questions even for you alone. Step aside, sir.
Kelly: [0:04:07] I’ll just step off here. We are rolling into another North American winter here. Triple El Nina, is that right? Or El Triple Nino. We’ve got potentially some snow on the horizon here in California, potentially. The last time you and I were hanging out chatting was about a year ago, October, I think, maybe October or November. But some things have changed for you a little bit. I can’t wait to get into that. First tell us where you are and set the scene for our listeners about Lynsey Dyer.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:04:42] So I’m sitting in [inaudible 0:04:43] Studios, obviously. Looking out, it’s afternoon. We have a bit of snow on the ground. We had snow, yeah, like a week ago. It was super good. And it’s been high and dry since then. It’s a beautiful afternoon. And yeah, I just pumped so that I could have an hour and a half away from my new baby to be here with you guys and wash my hair.
Juliet: [0:05:06] Oh my God, it’s the little things, isn’t it? Okay, well, tell us a little bit about that. I mean since we’ve seen you, you have become a mother, and tell us about that and your baby and anything that comes to mind because that’s a major transition in life.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:05:21] Yeah, it has definitely been super profound, just like they say, right? All the things they say. I guess I feel like I made my best friend. It’s so cool. She’s so rad. And even though we’re five months in and I’m getting up four times a night still, I love it. I’m such a sleeper and yet it’s okay. She holds my hand and we hang out a lot and she’s just the best. She smiles, and you can’t really get a parent going. They just won’t shut up. I get it.
Kelly: [0:05:55] You just don’t know until you’re there. I think that’s really the magic. Tell me, you have spent a big chunk of your life doing rad stuff, skiing big lines, being an advocate for women in the sport of skiing. How does having a daughter shape that or does it change your perspective on your position and what you’re doing versus maybe having a son? Because I only have girls, I only know what that’s about.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:06:23] I don’t think it’s changed my position. Yeah. Yeah. No. I don’t feel different is what I’m saying in terms of advocating for women, any different.
Kelly: [0:06:36] One of the things we have seen with all of our… We have a lot of friends who are rad, sick, and then they have babies and they turn out to be more rad because they’ve got more meaning in their life. Not that you have to have a baby in our life to have meaning but it really is a focuser of powers.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:06:55] That was brilliant. You’re absolutely right. Absolutely. I’ve become much more focused, much more directed, have a feeling, much more meaning. But also, it’s shown me how much I love being outside. I still have really big goals. I guess I assumed old school thinking, oh well, you’re supposed to be over it by the time you have kids and they’ll be your life and you’re not going to want any of that outdoor stuff anymore and you’re supposed to grow up. And in fact, I want all of that even more and I’m more committed to it. And I can’t wait to bring her out there. And it’s really focused me. I’m terrible with time. I’m an artist. And so it’s really made me focus and I’m grateful for that. It’s making me a better person.
Juliet: [0:07:40] So I just want to go because obviously your present with a five month old baby is probably about largely having a five month old baby, but I want to go way back in time for our listeners who aren’t familiar with you and your work and just tell us a little bit about your background, like where did you grow up, how did you get into skiing, how did you get into being an artist, how do you manage all those things together? Just give us a backstory.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:08:03] In an hour?
Juliet: [0:08:06] Twenty minutes on this one.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:08:08] We have more important things to talk about.
Kelly: [0:08:11] Let’s start with this: Were your parents skiers?
Juliet: [0:08:13] Yeah, how’d you get into skiing and then how’d you get into serious skiing?
Lynsey Dyer: [0:08:18] Okay. Mom and dad met on the mountain. Beautiful run called Limelight. She came from Michigan, taught herself how to ski, first person in her family to put herself through college. She’s amazing. And grew up in Michigan then made her way to Sun Valley. Dad met her on a mountain. He was trying to be a pro racer out of Washington, paying his own way. He was a downhill skier on the downhill circuit and was quite handsome. So he was living the dream. And then I came along.
Kelly: [0:08:51] Fast and handsome.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:08:53] He’s my hero, of course, right? Then I grew up ski racing, grew up in Sun Valley, Idaho. The racing part really didn’t make sense to me, the competing against other people, going around gates for time. But it was really fun. And all my best memories are singing songs on the chairlift, being obnoxious as a kid, that’s where I really grew to love it, as a place for community. And then experienced my first real flow state pretty young and that was really, that was something.
Kelly: [0:09:25] Were you racing when that happened or were you just skiing?
Lynsey Dyer: [0:09:26] It was a powder day. I remember everything about it. I don’t know. Maybe fourth grade is what I remember. At that point, it was like I said, just for fun, goofing off and eating candy on the chairlift. I wasn’t trying hard by any means or listening to coaches, you know what I mean? Even though they’re trying to corral you and get you to have technique and these things. It had just snowed maybe six to twelve inches and we were out on a run called Holiday. It’s a bump run and I had always gone around the moguls the way you think you’re supposed to. And in this case, for some reason, I think it probably had to do with a sugar high, I let them run and straight-lined this pretty steep run and realized that I didn’t actually have to turn, I could just-
Kelly: [0:10:17] Ladies and gentleman, big mountain skiing was born.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:10:20] It was so fun.
Juliet: [0:10:21] Was there an adult chomping on their fingernails with fear behind or in front of you somewhere watching this go down?
Lynsey Dyer: [0:10:28] Yeah, we had coaches and it was very much a click, a clicking a ha of wow, this is really fun. And that one moment plus another few moments of really feeling flow, I came to experience flow states both in the mountains and then in group situations. The first time, again, I took note, I was curious, was at a Warren Miller movie. Our family always went when I was little. It was the one thing we did. we went to the movies. And at that time, I was growing up, it was a rowdy concert. But I’m young and I’m getting beer spilled on me and it’s the coolest thing ever. And somehow, I’m in this cool kids’ concert is what it felt like. And the way the music came together with everyone in this room altogether, you could feel that everyone was having a special moment and I can’t really explain it other than that. But I’ve come to learn that that’s called group flow. And those two things really got my curiosity going.
Juliet: [0:11:29] I have to ask you because I feel like flow state is a term that we’ve come to know in the last 10 years. How did you think of it or what words or vocabulary did you attach to it as a fourth grader, if at all?
Lynsey Dyer: [0:11:44] I didn’t. I didn’t ever even speak about it. I didn’t have words for it. No one ever talked about something like that. It was much later when I was at a pivotal time in my life when I went back to that in a big decision.
Kelly: [0:11:56] Do you remember that moment though? Did that change your intention around skiing beyond the mountain? Were you like, oh, the hook is set, where you knew it was set? I remember being at a ski camp as a kid in Soelden, Austria and someone was diagramming the turn and we were talking about foot pressure and it’s Andre Arnold doing his thing and I remember being like oh, I’m home, this is how I want to talk about everything from now on, the technicality, the feeling. I remember that clearly, where I was standing below him, watching. I remember that moment.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:12:24] I love that that’s how your brain cued into it. My brain would never have cued into it that way. Technicalities and you’re just like num, num, num, and I’m like there’s birds over there, see the fox trail? I guess that’s my point, is it can house so many different brains and challenge us in all so many ways that we’re all looking differently to be challenged by. So I love that story.
Kelly: [0:12:50] In some of the mountain sports, people either come to this life because they’re talented and driven and get luck or have some skill, all of those things that make a career. But there is a tradition of people who are in these other sports but came out of more formal environments. You may be a dancer but you were in ballet or you had some kind of classic training and then skiing and snowboarding, I think of Jeremy Jones, for example, but a lot of the best skiers had some, whether they liked it or not, some very formal training. Do you think that was important to you being in a racing club beyond the social aspects of it and the framework of just getting you skiing every day?
Lynsey Dyer: [0:13:33] A hundred percent. I mean you and I have talked, technique is everything, right? That’s going to be the thing that allows us to be athletes forever. And so absolutely my coaches and the technique I learned through ski racing I’m so grateful for. Does that answer your question?
Kelly: [0:13:50] Yeah, yeah. You have this child now and you get to do it yourself or wreck it yourself. We are always talking about how do we set the hook, how do we get the endorphins and the patterning so our kids love to suffer on the chairlift and it’s freezing and we’re chasing pow.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:14:06] That’s exactly the stuff that I wanted to ask you guys about today.
Kelly: [0:14:11] Hot chocolate and gummy bears, that’s all you need to know. Oh, you’re tired? Let’s go in.
Juliet: [0:14:14] Candy.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:14:16] That’s what my dad did. That’s absolutely my dad’s strategy too. It worked.
Kelly: [0:14:20] Well, maybe that answers the question because are you thinking about how you’ll introduce this new family member to your life? Because let me just be total honest, your life sucks right now and it’s not good. Those parents out there with little kids, I’m sorry. It gets better and better and better. Lisa’s like-
Juliet: [0:14:38] Lisa’s just shaking her head. She’s like you’re the worst, Kelly.
Kelly: [0:14:40] I just think right now it’s so fun to hang out with my girls and ski with my girls.
Juliet: [0:14:44] Her life doesn’t suck but it’s hard. There’s hard things about it like not sleeping.
Kelly: [0:14:50] No, it doesn’t. But compared to where her life’s going, it’s going to suck. It’s sucky. I’m just saying you have no idea how rad your life is going to get.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:14:53] Oh, it’s going to get better?
Kelly: [0:14:55] You’re growing this. Yes. Wait until-
Juliet: [0:14:57] It’s like this. It’s like this.
Kelly: [0:14:59] I mean it is crazy how to go adventure with your kids.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:15:01] Okay. but you guys, baby snuggles and just the way I woke up, these little sounds that came out today. I’m like aaah. That’s the cutest thing ever.
Juliet: [0:15:10] They are adorable.
Kelly: [0:15:13] That’s the crack that gets you hooked. But just hang in there because it really is, traveling and adventuring with your kids. It’s interesting, Juliet and I were very fortunate, we are a family of skiers and we live in California and aren’t able to ski. But skiing with our kids is one of the first sports we could do as a family.
Juliet: [0:15:32] It’s like the only one, honestly.
Kelly: [0:15:35] Maybe electric mountain bikes
Juliet: [0:15:36] Yeah, we bike a little bit together.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:15:39] Water. On a boat you can be all together.
Juliet: [0:15:42] Yeah, we do river trips and bike. But I could literally care less about the skiing part of skiing with my kids. I honestly enjoy being on the chairlift with them as much as I enjoy skiing because it’s like nobody’s on their phone, it’s beautiful. The chairlift is like this moment that is so special.
Kelly: [0:16:02] And I never got bored just ripping-
Juliet: [0:16:06] When I was a kid I was like come on, chairlift end, end, end, let’s get off the chairlift. And now as a parent, I’m like this is the greatest time of my day.
Kelly: [0:16:13] Let me ask you this. This may be way too personal, so forgive me, coming from a father who doesn’t understand.
Juliet: [0:16:21] Here we go.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:16:22] Oh my God.
Kelly: [0:16:23] I can only speak to my own experience. My wife is such an amazing athlete.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:16:28] So I have heard
Kelly: [0:16:31] Yes. She didn’t necessarily love being pregnant.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:16:32] Oh, that was so hard.
Juliet: [0:16:35] It was hard.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:16:35] I could not tell you how hard that was.
Juliet: [0:16:37] Yeah. I found that to be very hard, I think partly because for me so much of what I do that brings me joy is about being super physical and just to not feel good in my body and physicality and to just feel big and struggle to move, that was really hard, I think because I’m someone who’s using my body all the time. So that I think for me was the hardest part of it. Did you have that at all?
Lynsey Dyer: [0:17:05] I’m so glad to hear that was the hardest thing for you because it was so hard. The last three months, like you, my mental health comes from being active and I couldn’t do anything. I actually had more water than they like to see; they were sending me to specialists and doing all these extra tests and it ended up fine. They still don’t know why I was carrying more water, but oh my God, I was the ocean.
Juliet: [0:17:30] Oh my God, I so feel you. So I’ve got to tell you this story. So when I think it was Georgia was born and the next day Kelly goes and gets… I’m still in the hospital I think, one night there or something, or two nights. And Kelly goes and gets me a shake and a burger. But in one day I lost 30 pounds. I remember actually looking down at my thighs and having an out of body experience because I’m like those things that look like they’re my legs, they can’t be my own legs. I literally in one day lost 30 pounds of water weight. It was insane. Same thing. I had the same… I just bloated up with water.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:18:06] Yeah. Literally, same.
Juliet: [0:18:09] It’s a weird feeling.
Kelly: [0:18:10] I’m going to hijack this question. Go ahead.
Juliet: [0:18:11] I’ve got to hijack because I’ve still got to go on a little bit of backstory because you grew up in Sun Valley, fell in love with skiing, have these amazing moments that you weren’t even able to describe into flow state, but then you go to school to become a graphic designer, if I’m not mistaken. Correct me if I’ve got the history wrong. So you kind of took a detour and then after that became a professional skier.
Kelly: [0:18:33] And not just a professional skier, a ripper.
Juliet: [0:18:36] A total massive major epic ripper. So tell us a little bit about how did you go from growing up skiing in Sun Valley to being like I’m going to be a graphic designer artist to t hiking, wait, maybe that’s not my path?
Lynsey Dyer: [0:18:48] Really good question. Thank you. Yeah. So where I left off was I got pretty good pretty quick. And I didn’t realize it but all the coaches had me on this track. I was on the Olympic track. And I didn’t realize it but they were starting to fundraise for me. By the way, I haven’t made it clear and I want to make it clear, I am one of those kids that got a bunch of scholarships and was supported by my town. My family couldn’t afford two of us going to many thousands of dollars to be in these race programs, all the traveling, everything. I wasn’t even aware, right? To me it was just what we did on Saturdays. And then all of a sudden, I was getting out of school. And then all of a sudden, I was traveling all the time. And then I was going to Europe. Until one day, I didn’t even know what my points were. I got pretty good at speed events. And then they had this fundraiser and they gave me this T-shirt and I meeted and greeted people at this fundraiser along with several others of our ski team. And when I took it off, I read it, oh my God, it said Olympic Development Fund, and then it said I was second in the nation, and I had no idea. And I realized then that I had a coach and I remember the moment where he was like, “You could do it if you want.” And I’m like, “You want me to go to the Olympics?” And I couldn’t handle it, to be honest. I crumbled under the pressure. And it didn’t seem like a fun path. And I stopped performing well. I felt terrible. I felt like I let down my whole town. I realized I had all kinds of issues around people pleasing and my value came around what I was doing. Anyways, so they kind of put me out to pasture. That’s what happens. If you’re not going to be on the Olympic track, then you go to college. And so the thing that I cared a lot about was art, and studied art and graphic design at MSU in Bozeman, Montana where I did get a ski racing scholarship. But for anybody who knows, ski racing is like, sure, you can get some help to go to school, but it’s not like you’re going to-
Juliet: [0:20:46] It’s not going to foot the whole bill by any measure.
Kelly: [0:20:47] It’s slightly different than basketball.
Juliet: [0:20:50] It’s not like a football scholarship.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:20:51] Yeah. And I’m curious how this worked for you guys as kayakers.
Kelly: [0:20:56] Oh, standing in a shower picking up $20 bills. There’s zero money and zero future. And even our friends who went to the Olympics, those who were successful were able to pivot into a business. Take that experience and those connections and the training and the discipline and actually use the promise of sport, which is growth through adversity, into something else, not you win the gold medal, and as you know, you go back to who you are the next second.
Juliet: [0:21:23] Yeah, and for me, the most mainstream sport I did was rowing, which is not a mainstream sport and there’s no money in it. That’s what I did in college and then I switched over to whitewater paddling where in other countries there’s actually money. Athletes can make money in other countries because it’s taken very seriously as a sport. But in this country, it’s such a fringe sport. So yeah, we just had weird odd jobs.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:21:46] All my kayaker friends, the same. Really so much character but it’s not an easy path.
Kelly: [0:21:53] It’s not an easy path.
Juliet: [0:21:54] I spent a lot of winters working in the North Face warranty department to fund my summers.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:21:58] I get that.
Kelly: [0:21:59] I poured espresso.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:22:00] I served ice cream.
Kelly: [0:22:02] And worked in kayak shops. Yeah, that works. This is so interesting. If your daughter’s like, “Mom I know you’re one of the best ever, I want to be a big mountain skier, I want to venture travel, how do I get there?” for you, it looks like a dot. You’re the chosen one racer and then you go to college and then you just become the greatest skier of all time.
Juliet: [0:22:21] Lynsey just went and bought the pamphlet in the bookstore in the 80s and 90s and followed that path.
Kelly: [0:22:23] That’s right. How to succeed in an extreme sport as a woman. What would you tell your daughter about your path to the next step? How does one become a Lynsey Dyer? Is that even possible? How do you become one of the greatest skiers of a generation?
Lynsey Dyer: [0:22:40] Oh, that’s very nice of you to say. I’m probably not. I just happen to have jumped in and got lucky and then I just haven’t quit because I really love it.
Kelly: [0:22:49] Is that part of it?
Lynsey Dyer: [0:22:49] Yes. And also, I did get lucky. I think intuition, a lot of things we do that way. Mine was actually a pretty sad story that pushed me towards the skiing. I tried to go the way that we’re all taught to go and I felt like I failed. So it was sort of I mean just to be clear, I followed the pattern, and I’ve shared this story a lot, so forgive me if I’m repeating myself, but followed the path, the expected path. And I got the best graphic design internship I could, ended up in the city, getting paid well, everything was great. But I felt like I was giving my life energy to somebody else’s dream and I wasn’t able to be creative even though it was a really cool tech job and I was like shoot, if I’m not going to make it in this path, the expected path that I’ve always followed because that was what they said would make you happy, then what would make you happy. And that’s where I really had to dig deep and go back to those flow moments because for me, nothing else-
Kelly: [0:23:54] How old were you when you had that conscious change?
Lynsey Dyer: [0:23:57] It was a tough moment. Nineteen. It was my first job, the first real job. It was still an intern and I was going back for my senior year of college after that and pivotal moment for sure.
Juliet: [0:24:10] And how did that transition go? Was it a rough transition or once you-
Kelly: [0:24:14] Mom, dad, I’m a skier.
Juliet: [0:24:15] Once you went all in and you’re like, I’m a skier, correct me if my reading of the facts are correct, you had some immediate success upon that transition.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:24:28] It might sound that way. What was cool is I could finally put all that training to use for something that was meaningful for me versus just going along with it because that was the expected path. So that’s when I started really appreciating all those ski coaches and all that time in the gates and knowing how to train. I finally put it all to work without anyone else’s help. And everyone laughed at me, literally. My best friends are still like, “Who do you think you are?” And I started training and going to those competitions and I won every one. And no one cared. I won seven in a row and I still couldn’t get a pair of skis.
Kelly: [0:25:06] I would love to go back and be like, I’ll invest. Early Google with Lynsey Dyer. Yes, I would invest in that. That’s amazing.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:25:16] Well, so then the next year my goal was, wouldn’t it be fun if, and it was very much playful but also, I’m going to try as hard as I can just to see, wouldn’t it be cool if I could get in one of those Warren Miller movies because I wasn’t seeing any women in there. And I knew I could ski better than those dudes that were in there, so I was like why not try. And like I said, that’s where the luck opened up. Like I said, it took three or four years. Like I said, I won the tour but no one cared. And the next year, I was able to just stay skiing by nannying for a very cool family. Being around young girls also made me a better person. And then ended up showing up for one of these teen dinners in terms of the ski brand that had been ghosting me for two years and was like, “Hey, I’m here.” And they’re like a bunch of French guys, like, “Your legs are too skinny to be a good skier.” And that was not the … but I’m like, yeah, I went with it, and afterwards they’re like, “Hey, thanks for showing up, how can we help”? And I’m like, “I want to film,” and they sent me to Jackson that night and I got my big break the next morning.
Kelly: [0:26:25] That’s amazing.
Juliet: [0:26:26] That’s so cool. So I do want to ask more about your films. But before I do because this is near and dear to our hearts at The Ready State because we deal with a lot of people with injuries, but you certainly have had some.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:26:38] A lot.
Juliet: [0:26:38] Large and small. So what sticks out to you and how have you managed being a professional athlete and managed recovering from injury, getting back, and then taking care of your body? Tell us a little bit about your injuries and then a little bit about what you’re doing now both as an athlete and then as a new mom to take care of your body so that you can keep doing all the things that you love.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:27:02] Yeah, that actually fits in really well with the story. So I get my first big break, I hit as many cliffs as I can. There’s like four and stomped 40, 50-foot cliffs in one day and hiking over and over. And they said they’d never seen a girl do that. And I was like oh, sweet, I’m doing okay. And then they all partied that night and I was the only athlete that showed up the next morning to a very hungover crew. And we had to hike out into the Jackson Hole back country and then this first line I skied I fell at the bottom. And it’s not something I do certainly in the zone. I could tell I was tired. And then I said something. And it’s another sad story. But essentially, I wasn’t clear about not feeling good and I blew out my knee. So that was the first time I had a year to sit and think about the fact that I would never, ever let somebody tell me, no matter how mean they were being, what to ski or not because it was my body. That was a tough lesson.
Juliet: [0:28:04] Yeah. That’s a tough way to learn that lesson.
Kelly: [0:28:06] Yeah. We call this adversity through sport. But it has nothing to do with the actual sport. These are all the lessons of sport, right, where there’s a big camera crew here and you’re ready to go and you’re like, hey, I’m not feeling it today and I’m tired and beat up from yesterday. There’s a real pressure to say no. Impossible.
Juliet: [0:28:22] But how hard is it? I mean it’s really hard as a young woman.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:28:25] Well, especially when someone’s telling you, yelling horrible things at you that are totally not okay. But there’s a lot of things in this sport that are not okay. But I was too young to be like, “Fuck off.” I wanted to please and I was like (gasp) get in line, do what they want.
Kelly: [0:28:44] So when you came back, often times, Juliet and I have a history of working with athletes, not the super phenom youngsters because they’re fine and they don’t want our help. But after people have been injured, they’re like, “Hey, what was that you were saying again? I can’t ever do that again. And now I’m here to pay attention.” And we love that change of consciousness. And that’s happened with some of the greatest athletes of a generation.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:29:10] Everyone.
Kelly: [0:29:11] Who tore one ACL and they were like, oh, we got it and then tore the second ACL and they were like, “We’ll be at your house on Tuesday.”
Juliet: [0:29:14] They were like, “Now we’re listening.”
Lynsey Dyer: [0:29:16] It’s true. It takes two I think to learn the lesson sometimes.
Kelly: [0:29:19] It does take a lesson. How did that change how you prepare because you knew how to train, you knew how to come back.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:29:25] I didn’t know how to come back. I’d never been injured before. It was horrible. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever been through and I frankly couldn’t handle it the first time. I couldn’t handle it.
Kelly: [0:29:35] What couldn’t you handle about it?
Lynsey Dyer: [0:29:36] Limitation. Not being able to use my body. It was horrible. I had put it all on the line and was back on my parents’ couch. It was rough, man. It was so rough.
Juliet: [0:29:46] Brutal. Brutal. Yeah. So in addition to learning all the bigger picture lessons about people pleasing and not getting pushed around and so forth, do you feel like you were old enough at that point with that injury to realize, okay, I need to actually put some input into my body and take care of myself along the way, or did that come later with future injuries or future consciousness?
Lynsey Dyer: [0:30:09] I think I always knew how to… When you say put things into your body, my mom has always-
Kelly: [0:30:15] Recovery, nutrition, sleep fed us well.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:30:16] I guess not consciously. I think the things that saved me was art and being outside, no matter how I could get outside. It ended up I got into meditation, I got into yoga. And it was still rough.
Kelly: [0:30:32] It is still rough. There’s no easy way through that.
Juliet: [0:30:35] Those aren’t tradeoffs. I mean that’s not a tradeoff.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:30:37] At such a young age too, I wasn’t, just not mentally prepared. And then I don’t know if I said, but it happened again a year later.
Kelly: [0:30:44] Same knee?
Lynsey Dyer: [0:30:45] Other knee. Another stupid thing. A photographer asked me… I put on race skis because we knew we were going to shoot on some groomers and a photographer asked me to make the snow spray. And I was like, that’s stupid, of course, I can make it spray. And I was used to big mountain skis that will slide and these race skis just locked up and I didn’t even fall I just (makes clicking sound) and it was the worst. It was the worst. I was like no, no, that did not just happen. Literally, I had just come back, won another competition, and done again. And I was like, okay, I’m listening, what did I not get the first time?
Juliet: [0:31:23] Hey guys, we just wanted to take a little break in this podcast episode to actually tell you about one of our own products and that’s our Ready State Virtual Mobility Coach.
Kelly: [0:31:32] Yeah, the app literally is the first place you should go if you’re trying to feel better, if you’re trying to solve an old movement related problem, if you’re just trying to just not be as sore from your workout.
Juliet: [0:31:44] There is so much going on in this app. We have a mobility test that is comprehensive and designed by Kelly Starrett himself.
Kelly: [0:31:51] It’s pretty good.
Juliet: [0:31:52] So you can figure out what your biggest limitations are and start to work on that. There are sports specific mobilizations if you want to try to lift more or run faster. There is a pain area. And we even have a ton of bonus content. You can do challenges around squat and ankle and a bunch of other specific body parts. So you can just generally get more supple and awesome.
Kelly: [0:32:12] JStar, you’re killing it. You should talk about this app more often. We started the original mobility project back in 2010 trying to help people solve problems for themselves. We think that every human being should be able to perform basic maintenance on themselves and we want you to be able to engage in self-care in a really reasonable, responsible way. One of our favorite parts of it, daily mobility. You have a 10, 20, 30-minute follow along with me if you just have a ball and a roller and think you want to feel better, move better, play along. I mean we really feel like that’s the base camp practice and you can add in what you need.
Juliet: [0:32:45] We’re really proud of this and what we’ve created here and we think you should give it a try. Head on over to thereadystate.com/trial and use code Pod 20 for 20 percent off your first month. And just FYI, including your two-week free trial, that’s literally six weeks for $11.99. You can’t beat that. There’s so much amazing content to help you feel better and move better for $11.99.
Kelly: [0:33:10] In the words of our podcast producer: bananas.
Kelly: [0:33:16] Oh my gosh. So one of the things that happens in these moments is you had to go back to your social media team and your manager and — wait, those things didn’t exist.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:33:27] Oh wait. You’re that old.
Kelly: [0:33:28] You’re doing all of this managing these relationships. Traditionally, big companies haven’t been really kind to athletes when they’re injured and when they can’t produce. Did you have any of those moments where companies that you thought were on your side weren’t on your side and made you think differently about the relationship you’d have in the future?
Lynsey Dyer: [0:33:48] Yeah. That one came when I shared with I thought who were my friends that I wanted to get pregnant. That’s when I learned the hard lesson about that. That first time I still didn’t have any really solid… I wasn’t making real money or anything. But it’s when I said that I wanted to get pregnant that I was really surprised at how it was received. That was the tough one.
Kelly: [0:34:07] I mean there was this Nike lawsuit. We’re seeing that people are losing their health insurance. USADA, I mean the U.S. team funding is very strange. For everyone who’s listening, there’s a shift now where our athletes who happen to be women are competing and are so good through their childbearing years that they’re realizing instead of just retiring and having a baby, which is what we told women for decades, for generations, just end your career and have a baby, suddenly we’re having a whole generation of women who are still the best in the world, and companies are not set up for it. They’re falling on their faces. It looks misogynist. It’s terrible.
Juliet: [0:34:43] I feel like there’s starting to be some change but do you share that or do you think we’re still in the Dark Ages when it comes to that?
Lynsey Dyer: [0:34:50] Well, I thought that there had been change and that’s why I thought that I was safe to say something because I had seen other people ahead of me, Ingrid Backstrom. Lots of examples.
Kelly: [0:35:00] Allyson Felix is a good one.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:35:02] Well, of course, Allyson Felix. Yeah. So I was like, yeah, we’re set, we’re good, I’m safe to share this stuff. And when it wasn’t that, I was like holy moly, oh gosh. So yeah, I think we’re getting better but not quite there. And I will also say that jut in the darkest moment when I thought all was lost, I heard from my existing ski sponsor, Fischer, and they want to sign me for another couple years. So I’m like, okay, there’s still hope. And they actually see value. They’re actually putting a decent, serious support into telling this story and doing a full video for the next two years. We’re shooting to tell the backstory, the during pregnancy story, and then becoming a mother story. So I think it’s coming around.
Juliet: [0:35:47] That’s so awesome.
Kelly: [0:35:47] Go Fischer.
Juliet: [0:35:49] Back to your prolific film career. I know you were in a lot of movies before you made your own movie. Did I get that right and what was that like to go from being the subject to being someone who had creative and larger controlled role over it?
Lynsey Dyer: [0:36:03] Yeah. Well, I realized that I was somewhat playing a role. I knew what my role was for those 10 years, which was to be the smiley, bubbly blonde and make powder 10s and talk about how much you appreciate things and giggle. You know what I mean? That’s what the end of editing is, so that’s the role that you’re expected to play. And I’m fine with it. I am appreciative. I do love being out there. And I also assumed that this film that was in my head would get made and then it just hadn’t been made. And I felt a responsibility. I walked out of this movie that I thought for sure was going to be the one, that they were going to connect with it, and I was watching all the women leave this film with their shoulders down. And I was like, no, no. So I went into the bathroom I remember that night, and I wrote down what I would need to do, and I knew that it was going to take a lot, but I had to try. And it was three and a half years of, again, people telling me this is never going to work, no one wants to see women in films, people have tried and they’ve failed, you’d have to have a naked pillow fight to watch that. I heard all kinds of-
Kelly: [0:37:10] That’s bananas. We’re talking about 2000s, right? Just everyone listening, this is recent history for everyone in our outdoor sports.
Juliet: [0:37:18] Yeah. We’re not talking about the 80s right now, we’re talking about recent history.
Kelly: [0:37:23] Let me ask you a question. Who were your idols in women winter sports? Did you have women, people who you were following who you realized that you were standing on their shoulders that they’d broken path for you? Was there anyone like that?
Lynsey Dyer: [0:37:39] There was no one publicly. I didn’t follow ski magazines. When I was a graphic designer, I was trying to put that behind me, like hey, grow up, you’re supposed to get in line. And so I wasn’t aware of any of that. I knew Powder Magazine existed and literally that day when I decided I was going to go for this, I called Powder Magazine. And I’m like, “So, I have a question. How do I do this?” And I don’t remember what I said, but I got transferred around a bunch. And I ended up talking to this intern who I didn’t know at the time, I’d never heard of her, but turns out it was Ingrid Backstrom And she’s like, “Oh yeah, so you should get into some competing and do some contests.” She was really nice and then she’s like, “See how it goes from there.” And I’m like, “Cool, thanks.”
Kelly: [0:38:31] I’ve never heard that story. That’s amazing.
Juliet: [0:38:31] Yeah. I love that you’re transferred and then you’re like, oh hey, Ingrid.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:38:35] But I didn’t know. I mean no one knew. She was probably in movies. I just didn’t watch that stuff, I didn’t know. And at the same time, my cousin AJ Cargill was one of the pioneers. She was one of the first to be in these extreme ski contests. She really did live the dream. She set herself up, taught herself everything, brought herself out to Jackson Hole, became a bartender to try and make it, was doing stuff with Shane McConkey and stuff. People don’t really know her name unless you’re around here. She was truly pioneering. And there were other women at the same time that everything they did… It took me a long time to learn about them and realize the shoulders that I was standing on that I had no idea about.
Juliet: [0:39:23] So I do want to go back to your film because I have to think making one is really hard, especially under your specific circumstances, really hard. And the only thing I can sort of relate to is we’ve written a bunch of books, although I still think the process of writing and publishing a book is far easier than making a movie. So tell us about the process and how was it received? I mean how did it go?
Lynsey Dyer: [0:39:44] Yeah. Well, for me it was like my theory was like, hey, if we just all put our highlights in one place, we could really have an input and show… Because at that time, there was one girl maybe and TGR still didn’t have any girls in their movies. There was one girl, it was Ingrid. And it was because Matchstick filmed her. And there were lots of us in little pockets and I just knew if we put all of those highlights together, we could make a mark. And then I also wanted to showcase to little girls you didn’t just have to be a guy, there was a space for you in this stuff that gave me so much meaning, like the giggling on the chairlift, the family time, and really try to capture that, the road trips when you’re going on an adventure and that sort of thing. And then to capture from young to old because skiing is obviously one of the one sports that we can truly do for a long time, into 80s and 90s.
Kelly: [0:40:37] Yeah. I just try to keep my feet on the ground. Going fast, but on the ground.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:40:41] So really to showcase everybody who’s into it from young to old, as females, and they belonged out there in their own way.
Juliet: [0:40:47] That’s so cool.
Kelly: [0:40:47] Last year, we worked together on a project you did with Fischer. Will you talk about that project?
Lynsey Dyer: [0:40:52] Yeah. This was awesome. It gave me an excuse to get to know you, the Supple Leopard. Yeah, the pandemic had just hit and I was really thinking about how I could serve the community the best. And I figured sharing all the techniques behind at least the success that I had known and then being able to reach out to experts like all of you for the bigger picture in all these categories was the dream. I had also had a podcast for a handful of years by then and I love conversation. I really want to turn this one around, because I have some parenting questions I want to ask you guys.
Kelly: [0:41:30] Okay, I’ve got one more for you. You know what it’s like to come out of injury, and that’s a terrible analogue to return to sport, but here you’ve just done this thing that so many women have done, and gone on to incredible greatness physically afterwards. Having a baby, I think it was sort of gnarly, I could kind of keep up with Juliet, then she had one baby and I was behind, and now she’s had two babies and she’s so tough and such a great competitor and so… It’s made you a more gnarly woman in terms of you’re more badassness.
Juliet: [0:42:02] I’ll take that.
Kelly: [0:42:02] I think you’re way more badass. Have you had to do anything different to get ready for this season because there’s ski season upon you; it’s your work time. I know you can ski year-round now. But you have this babe. How have you prepared differently for this season to get ready to do all the things you need to do as a professional skier?
Lynsey Dyer: [0:42:20] That’s a good question. You keyed on something that I think is beyond getting ready. Like you said, being gnarly. A mom is gnarly. I’m in the most pain I’ve ever been in, being a mom. Beyond those injuries, and I thought those injuries prepared me for being a mom. And maybe they did a little bit, but no.
Kelly: [0:42:36] Let me mansplain to everyone, no.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:42:40] Yeah. The first trimester, my SI joint went out. And I didn’t know. I went to physios, I went to chiropractor, I went to the needles–what do you call it–dry needle. All the things. And finally, a chiropractor got it back in. But it was some of the most pain I’ve ever been in. And I was terrified. If I can’t make it through trimester one, how can I bring this baby here? So that really brought me to my knees. So a couple weeks ago, oh yeah, gosh, I mean the last time we were trying to do this podcast, I had this horrible, my face blew up. I have all kinds of weird not allergies, but I don’t know. I’m just so much more sensitive now. And then last week I got mastitis. And that is the most painful thing.
Juliet: [0:43:27] That hurts.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:43:28] Laying in bed at night and realizing that I have to figure out. I’m looking at it and I’m saying it’s just pain. It’s so gnarly that it’s really pushing my mental capacity of what we can stand. It’s just pain, it’s just the body. Really heavy stuff. And if you’ve never been in a lot of pain, you wouldn’t be pushed there. So that’s just that stuff. But in terms of getting ready for ski season, I’ve done it every year forever. I’m loving the opportunity to get back thanks to grandma here giving me 20 minutes a day so I can swing some kettlebells, get some deadlifts in, and today I got to go for a run. I’m like yay.
Juliet: [0:44:07] And you took a shower. I’m like wait, you took a shower. So I mean if maybe you could just, again, I know all this has been blown up given that you’ve had a baby, but I think I’ve heard you say in the past that focus in on daily habits and that’s the key to your performance. But what are those because Kelly and I are working on this book called Built to Move and it’s about our basic habits that we follow as we think people have overcomplicated the basics. But what are the things that you must do, no matter what?
Kelly: [0:44:41] And how did those things survive the baby test?
Juliet: [0:44:44] Yeah, did you lose any of those habits?
Lynsey Dyer: [0:44:46] No. That’s my I can’t live without it, right? I’m realizing, yeah, it’s being outside, getting sunshine, taking deep breaths, breathwork outside, just a walk. At one point during my pregnancy, it was just getting outside on the deck and doing some breathwork. Breathwork means five deep breaths, ten deep breaths. Soaking up some sunshine. Also not having any help with childcare until the past week or so with grandma here has really pushed me because I don’t get to exercise and get all those things that I realize are just a luxury. I really had to go back to my breathwork. And eleven minutes is what I get and I make it count.
Kelly: [0:45:33] I have this idea and someone can make it and then credit me, just send me my mailbox money.
Juliet: [0:45:39] Let’s hear it.
Kelly: [0:45:39] It’s a stroller that has resistance. It’s basically like a sled for working parents, that if you can get out there and you can push a stroller. Lisa, you think I’m crazy?
Juliet: [0:45:51] What do you think, Lisa?
Kelly: [0:45:52] It’s the baby prowler. Just because you’re so desperate to try to breathe hard and work it in and get your kid out there and you haven’t eaten and your house is a mess and it’s gnarly. That was my solution, my mechanical solution. Maybe we could support young parents. No.
Juliet: [0:46:08] For us the only version that we had of that was the Deuter kid backpack of which our kids spent half their lives in that thing. Because we were like once they could get out of the front thing and they could go in a backpack, it was like we’re gone.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:46:23] What age is that because I’ve still got her on the front and I can go for a walk and I’m like sweet, I’ve got a 20-pound weight.
Juliet: [0:46:29] Yeah. It was seven or eight months because when they can really hold their head up, they can go in that backpack. So you’re soon.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:46:37] She falls asleep instantly though and I’m like aaah.
Juliet: [0:46:43] Our daughter Georgia would do that in the Deuter backpack. We’d be hiking along and her head would be like this.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:46:48] And you’re okay with that.
Juliet: [0:46:49] She was fine.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:46:50] Good to know.
Kelly: [0:46:50] And then we also did this thing called the 10 10 10 at 10, which was at 10 p.m. it would be 10 kettlebell swings, 10 burpees, 10 pullups for 10 minutes. That was like 10 of something at 10 p.m. for 10 minutes. I was like, well, I trained today. Count it.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:47:06] That’s it.
Kelly: [0:47:06] The 10’s.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:47:07] I’ve been waiting for that.
Juliet: [0:47:09] And if you forget, just text us and we’ll tell you again.
Kelly: [0:47:12] Ten.
Juliet: [0:47:14] You’ll remember but you’re like, wait, what am I supposed to do-
Kelly: [0:47:16] 10 p.m.
Juliet: [0:47:17] At 10?
Kelly: [0:47:17] Yeah, doesn’t matter. Your body is so amazing. And people don’t quite appreciate that those of you who are mutants, you two, your body has an amazing ability to come back and your brain is still your brain. And you just have to reconnect the dots a little bit. Do you remember the Zamperini who was the runner in the Unbroken? He was the guy who was shot down and then lived in the raft for two months with his friends eating seagulls and then he was in a concentration camp. He ran in the Olympics and he ran a 4:03 mile and then he came back after all of that and ran like a 4:04 mile. He was one second slower after years and years of abuse on his body. I’m just saying, you don’t need to stress. It’s all there.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:48:00] Well, I’m surprised actually. I assumed it would be in reverse. So it snowed here a bunch 10 days ago. And I just came back from Maui. I’ve been trying to learn how to kite ski and water stuff and I thought for sure it was going to be terrible. But I hiked the path and then skied and I’m skiing better than I ever was. And I don’t know if it’s because I miss it so much. I was pregnant all last winter and it wasn’t a good year. All these things. I don’t know. But I got these turns that happened not very long ago. And I was also first on the bootpack with the boys and I was so surprised. So that’s all I’m saying. I’m just saying that life is good.
Kelly: [0:48:41] It’s almost like you’re Lynsey Dyer.
Juliet: [0:48:42] I do think motherhood is a superpower.
Kelly: [0:48:42] It is a superpower.
Juliet: [0:48:43] It’s a superpower.
Kelly: [0:48:44] As a mother. I just looked right at Lisa and said that. Just so before we lose our window with you, what are you working on? Do you have anything special you’re working on besides running a professional career and being a mother, do you have any special projects or things that you want to talk about?
Juliet: [0:49:00] Or what are you looking forward to?
Kelly: [0:49:02] You’re in deep learning right now. Exactly.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:49:03] I’m really back into art in a big way. Like I said, this whole motherhood thing has made me a better person in that I only get so much time and so I’m like what am I going to do with it. And I learned a lot in the last couple years of trying to be an athlete. And I really want to make an impact for wildlife and I’ve been trying to ask myself for a long time what is that going to look like. And when I was little, I thought I’d have to go into politics and then I was like ah, I suck at politics, so I guess I failed. And I think that if I can really put some work into my art, I can do some fundraising and really try to move the needle for wildlife and roads specifically. And I’m just trying to chug along at one thing a day towards that.
Kelly: [0:49:51] In addition to your day job.
Juliet: [0:49:51] In addition to a few other things you have going on.
Kelly: [0:49:54] I love it. I love it. That’s so great. Where can people follow your exploits, where do we see… your socials are fun.
Juliet: [0:49:59] Find you, support what you’re doing?
Kelly: [0:50:02] I get a very big stoke on your ski videos.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:50:05] Well, I can’t wait for you guys to come to Alaska with me. I put on a trip once a year. And like you said, to get to hang out with your friends in the mountains is as good as it gets, and your family. So start training because we have a trip going on at the end of March in case you want to join that one. And yeah, what else?
Kelly: [0:50:26] Where do we find you on the socials?
Lynsey Dyer: [0:50:27] So I prefer unicornpicnic.com, that’s my art, and anyone who supports that stuff, it goes to supporting women and wildlife and girls outside. Yeah, unicornpicnic.com. And then when do I get to ask you some questions?
Kelly: [0:50:42] Hit it.
Juliet: [0:50:43] Hit it. Let’s go. Let’s go.
Kelly: [0:50:43] We’ve saved a little bit. That’s why I was trying to wrap it up, the official stuff. Go. Speed round, Juliet.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:50:47] So parenting and working together. How do you guys parent and work together and communicate with each other, communicate with your community? I did some research on you behind the scenes, beyond the blog, and I know that a lot of people in your community really look up to you as a couple and as a family. So how, number one, do we get to make rad kids and how do we stay in good rad relationships between partners as athletes?
Juliet: [0:51:18] Well, on the rad kids front, I always tell everyone you have to wait to ask me that question when my kids are like 27 because I feel like I’m still deep in the experiment. Right now, early tests indicate that they’re good kids and they’re doing well. But I’m also like, man, it’s not until they’re like 27 where you’re like, okay, maybe we did a good job here. But we have always tried to just spend a lot of time with our kids and be present and around and show up for everything. I mean I think that’s our philosophy. That’s one thing I learned from my mom. My mom was a parent who showed up for everything.
Kelly: [0:51:52] Everything.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:51:53] How do you do that when you’re also leading your own business and having to stay educated and all the things?
Kelly: [0:51:59] See, you’re looking at this the wrong way. Because we run our own business we get to. That’s the price you pay.
Juliet: [0:52:04] Because we run our own business we decide, you know what I mean? There are certain stressors that we take on because we run our own business but also, we can choose when to work and when to show up for our kids. And when they were little, we could always go to their band concert or their choir concert. I mean I really think we’ve tried to design our life so we can be present and available for them.
Kelly: [0:52:25] We play a ton together.
Juliet: [0:52:26] Yeah, we play together and we try to do adventures and travel.
Kelly: [0:52:28] Outdoors, outdoors, outdoors has worked for our family very well.
Juliet: [0:52:32] And then I mean as for us working together, I mean I will say it’s not always easy and we definitely get… Lisa’s like yep, we get in little tiffs. Even sometimes Lisa has to break us up. No. I mean it’s not always easy. Sometimes navigating and negotiating I mean literally everything.
Kelly: [0:52:49] It’s not like a thing that we have to deal with.
Juliet: [0:52:51] No, I mean I think we’ve figured out our cadence and how to work together and when to say, “Okay, that really bothered me when you did x,” and when to say, “Okay, that’s how it goes sometimes.”
Kelly: [0:53:02] We did this thing, and you may have heard us talk about it, called the feelings meeting. And it comes in and out. But once a week especially when you’re in the shit, which you are right now, Juliet and I would sit down and it’s on the schedule, feelings meeting, and we would talk about our relationship formally in that moment as a married couple and what’s going on, how am I doing.
Juliet: [0:53:24] What’s working? What’s working in our parenting?
Kelly: [0:53:25] How can I support you? What’s bothering you? And the only rule is no defensiveness. You just get to be. There’s a lot of stuff that might irritate you or I might irritate Juliet and you put it on the list and we get to talk about it Wednesday at … There was a local place that had this drink called After Fairy. It was mint and strawberry and vodka and deliciousness and we’d put an After Fairy in front of us.
Juliet: [0:53:47] We’re like, go.
Kelly: [0:53:48] Go. And how it’s going. And I feel like that really helped to just have a moment, oh yeah, we’re still in this, this is a formal business meeting. And the working together thing, people are already working together. You’re running a household, you’re doing laundry, who’s cooking, who’s cleaning, who’s doing all that stuff. I think it’s just an extension. I can’t actually imagine working with anyone else. It wouldn’t work without you as my partner.
Juliet: [0:54:12] I think also just to add one more thing, I think the other thing that helps is that we do have so many shared values. We both came from divorced parents with sort of unsteady childhoods and we were like we do not want that for our kids. We were motivated to do the work to have a tight, close family to change course from what our older generations presented to us as parenting. And then I think the other thing that’s funny is we have a lot of the same instincts as parents too. I always think of myself as this hippy former river guide. But I think I’m one of the more strict parents. I mean you are too, Lisa. I didn’t expect think. I’m like, hey, I’m just a whatever goes kind of person. And then turns out I’m not at all that person.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:54:57] Now what does that mean, strict? What does that mean?
Kelly: [0:54:57] Our kids have this is when you go to bed, this is when you have to be home, this is what we expect from you at school.
Juliet: [0:55:04] I’m not the parent that says to my third grader I’m not going to brush my hair before I go to school because I don’t feel like it. I’m just like, no, you need to brush your hair. I’m a little bit like there’s ways we need to show up in the world.
Kelly: [0:55:15] Do you want strawberries or do you want cantaloupe? You get a choice in this but-
Lynsey Dyer: [0:55:18] Here’s another question and I know you probably want to go.
Juliet: [0:55:21] No, you’re fine. This is fun.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:55:23] I have two questions. How do you stay athletes given the business that you run knowing all of the side stuff you have to take care of? And then in terms of the stuff you’re expecting from your kids, I’m curious what it is. Is it you have to do two sports, you don’t have to do them well, but blah blah blah, you have to take a music lesson? What does that look like?
Juliet: [0:55:42] Oh yeah. So I read one time that the most well-rounded kid is the one who takes music, a sport, and a language. And my kids have done all of those things and then landed on sports, so who knew? But one thing that was really influential to me is our friend Corby is an art teacher actually at Proctor Academy on the East Coast and they have a little ski hill with a chairlift and everything, this cool boarding school. We went and visited him when our daughter Georgia was little and Caroline wasn’t even born and one of the things that really stuck with me is the way the schedule works there at this boarding school, is all the kids have school until 3 o’clock. And then from 3 to 5, every kid at the school, there’s like 300 or 400 kids at the school, they’re required to do a physical activity. Now, they offer a massive, wide range of physical activity, from dance to yoga, to martial arts, to skiing, to more traditional sports. But I thought it was such a cool thing, okay, they’re just putting, they’re saying this is our value, that everyone, regardless of whether you’re an artist or an athlete or whoever you are, everybody needs to move their body. That’s universal. So that was kind of the philosophy we took on, is that you have a choice as to what you want to do to move your body, but not if you move your body. And we’ll support whatever it is. If you want to do gymnastics or martial arts. And our kids have tried so many of those things. So that was our value, is that the fact of movement is not a choice.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:57:09] I don’t care how you do it, but you have to move.
Juliet: [0:57:10] Yeah, that was it. And we’ll support whatever that is. You don’t have to do things that we like. We’re like if you want to, I don’t know, hip hop dancing, great.
Kelly: [0:57:18] Our kids are very different. Georgia loves to bake and she’s turned her baking into a subscription bakery, which is really cool. Shoutout Georgia’s Bake Shop. But she doesn’t have this crazy genetic drive to move. I am a little ADD and like to fidget and move and have to be active and want to play. And Georgia has come to really like those things. She likes to go train. Turned out that water polo was her knack and she likes to ski. So again, it’s like no one likes to eat vegetables, no one likes to go to bed. What do whiners get? Whiners get naps. There’s just some things that these are non-negotiables of learning how to be a human being. And then I just wanted to add one more thing that I think is crucial for Juliet and I, is that we play together. We haven’t lost that. She’s still my number one let’s go boating, let’s go skiing, let’s go ride mountain bikes. And we’ve discovered we don’t pick up a new sport without the other person because our time is so limited anyway that I’m like, dude, I really like to go flyfishing or surf but my wife isn’t there and I can’t pick up this whole other sport. And that works for other people, they need their time apart, but that just didn’t work for us.
Juliet: [0:58:29] Especially not in this deep kid raising phase of our lives where all we have time to do is get some exercise in, run our business, raise our kids, and have a few friends on the side. There’s just not a lot of free time in there. So we have to be tight. And exercise wise, we’ve just always figured out a way to prioritize. I mean when my kids were little babies, I went back to my law firm and was working fulltime as a lawyer. And the only time I could exercise is if I was exercising at 5:30 in the morning, which I now will never do. But I was like I need to move and this is important to me so I’m exercising at 5:30.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:59:05] What about athletically my goals and stuff? I have these goals that are still driving me and I’m a little bit like can I do that and be a good mom or-
Kelly: [0:59:13] Yep. Yep, 100 percent.
Juliet: [0:59:14] Totally. Oh my God, 100 percent.
Kelly: [0:59:16] You just bring your kids along. They get to witness it. I mean talk about modeling.
Juliet: [0:59:21] How cool is that?
Kelly: [0:59:21] You’re a woman and you get to watch your mom grow up and change an industry and do rad stuff. I mean your kid is part of it. I think that’s the thing, is that you don’t have to separate.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:59:32] I think there’s this belief system that you’re supposed to get over that, you’re supposed to get beyond that, that’s so selfish. I mean in my own family, people are like, “You need to stop, you stay out of those mountains now, you’re a mom now.” And I’m just like yeah, you’re right, I don’t know. But that’s who I am.
Kelly: [0:59:50] Maybe only throw one forward flip instead of two forward flips off the cliff. Dial it back a little bit.
Lynsey Dyer: [0:59:58] I’m going to tell them you said that. He’s a doctor.
Juliet: [1:00:01] Yeah, he’s a doctor. Listen to what he says.
Kelly: [1:00:03] Shredology. Shredology.
Juliet: [1:00:05] I think obviously your life changes and people say dumb stuff like you can have it all or whatever that even means.
Kelly: [1:00:10] That’s horseshit.
Juliet: [1:00:11] That’s total horseshit. But man, you can still be your own individual with dreams and goals and still be an awesome, present parent. Those things can exist in unison, in my strong opinion.
Kelly: [1:00:23] And I’ll lastly just say you’re not the first person to do this. Women have had babies and gone off to do rad stuff.
Lynsey Dyer: [1:00:31] But were they good parents if they still did rad stuff?
Kelly: [1:00:33] Oh yes.
Juliet: [1:00:34] Oh yes. Yes.
Kelly: [1:00:35] For sure. And probably some not good parents out there.
Juliet: [1:00:40] But I think the fact of doing rad stuff does not in and of itself, I think that that’s amazing and what a model you are for your kids.
Kelly: [1:00:47] And lastly, you don’t have any time to mess around. One of our super secret weapons is to hire working mothers. Lisa’s over here and she just had to zip out-
Juliet: [1:00:59] Yeah, working moms get things done.
Kelly: [1:01:00] She’s had to zip out during this podcast, pick up her kid, and she’s back. And she’ll get it done. So working mothers are the most untapped superpower in this country. You just don’t have time. You’re going to look at your old life-
Lynsey Dyer: [1:01:11] I already am.
Kelly: [1:01:13] What did I do with those hours?
Juliet: [1:01:13] I had so much free time.
Kelly: [1:01:15] Oh my god. You thought you were stressed at work? You weren’t. You were just so lazy. Two kids. Holy moly.
Lynsey Dyer: [1:01:21] I still don’t even get how you go to two. One, I don’t get it. I don’t know how.
Kelly: [1:01:25] You’re too close to it.
Juliet: [1:01:26] It took us three years to even think about having a second one so there’ll be a point where you’re like, oh, okay, okay, I can see it now.
Kelly: [1:01:34] And you did yourself a favor. You had a woman. Good job.
Lynsey Dyer: [1:01:36] Oh, she’s so rad you guys. Oh my gosh. I can’t wait for you to meet her.
Juliet: [1:01:39] We can’t wait to meet her. It’s so awesome.
Lynsey Dyer: [1:01:42] We’ve got to go skiing. We’ve got to get the family together and go shred.
Kelly: [1:01:46] Your words, not mine. I’m in. I’m in. Thank you so much for carving out time for us.
Juliet: [1:01:50] Thank you so much for being with us.
Lynsey Dyer: [1:01:52] All right. Great, great night, you guys. What a treat. Thank you so much.
[music]
Kelly: [1:02:01] Thank you for listening to The Ready State Podcast. If you like what you’re hearing, check out all our episodes here or at thereadystate.com. And be sure to subscribe or leave a review on iTunes to help others find our show.
Juliet: [1:02:12] Check us out and follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter @thereadystate.
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